[Practice Project] Andorian Empire

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FruitLoop
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[Practice Project] Andorian Empire

Post by FruitLoop » Sat Dec 08, 2012 4:32 am

I'm practicing my Governments, Militaries, Battles and Wars. This one is the Government of the Andorian Empire. I'd really, REALLY appreciate some feedback. This is not going to be put to a vote until I do. :P
http://wiki.pegasusfleet.net/index.php? ... ian_Empire

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Re: [Practice Project] Andorian Empire

Post by Terris » Sat Dec 08, 2012 5:01 am

OK. From what I gather you are off to a good start. However, you might want to work on separating the Clans from the History part and having it separate. Also might want to give some information on the clans as well.

Other than that looks good.


Some advice. Take a look at the Cardiassian Union that Krace wrote up and see how he put things into place on there and then make up your own version. Also do like Todd mentioned. Research the different governments we have today to get a better idea.
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Re: [Practice Project] Andorian Empire

Post by FruitLoop » Sat Dec 08, 2012 6:54 am

I separated the Clans from the History like you suggested and put Clan Wars in there instead. There is now a separate section for the Clans themselves. I took a look at Krace's article you mentioned and did the history of the government according to the type of government today that it corresponds with. I think.

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Re: [Practice Project] Andorian Empire

Post by Terris » Mon Dec 10, 2012 12:55 am

Much Better.
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Re: [Practice Project] Andorian Empire

Post by Confusedfire » Mon Dec 10, 2012 2:01 am

I think you could link words like Vulcan and Andorian less, but aside from that it looks good.
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Re: [Practice Project] Andorian Empire

Post by FruitLoop » Mon Jan 07, 2013 5:55 am

It has been updated as per Krace and Tue's points. I am still at Grandpa's house and it's a little crazy with the net.

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Re: [Practice Project] Andorian Empire

Post by KejalBuris » Sat Jan 12, 2013 12:14 am

Same as the other article, I want some additional information on Andorian ships. Oh, and there's one small problem: your third heading, "First Spaceflight & First Conact" needs to have a spellcheck run on it; it should be Contact.

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Re: [Practice Project] Andorian Empire

Post by FruitLoop » Sat Jan 12, 2013 12:24 am

Thanks.

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