[Practice Project] Andorian Imperial Guard

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FruitLoop
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[Practice Project] Andorian Imperial Guard

Post by FruitLoop » Mon Jan 07, 2013 5:59 am

http://wiki.pegasusfleet.net/index.php? ... rial_Guard

I think I might have gone a little nuts with the links again. And also, how do you add Command Staff for anything that isn't Starfleet? I'm doing the Am Tal and TalShiar too and it's frustrating.

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Re: [Practice Project] Andorian Imperial Guard

Post by tueborvita » Thu Jan 10, 2013 4:06 am

You did a really good job on this article. It looks like you really got into your writing groove. The only thing that it feels like it might be missing is armor? The way you wrote this brings an very feudal picture to mind. I'm picturing something almost Teutonic from the description and what I remember of the costuming done for TNG and TOS. Would something like that come up even ceremonially?
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Re: [Practice Project] Andorian Imperial Guard

Post by FruitLoop » Thu Jan 10, 2013 4:46 am

Altered. Is it okay?

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Re: [Practice Project] Andorian Imperial Guard

Post by KejalBuris » Sat Jan 12, 2013 12:08 am

I like it. It gives a good and complete picture.

However, what kind of vessels get an IGV designation? Are they old Starfleet vessels, or do the Andorians create non-standard designs? The Federation generally doesn't seem so keen anymore on individual member-species maintaining their own star fleet.

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Re: [Practice Project] Andorian Imperial Guard

Post by FruitLoop » Sat Jan 12, 2013 12:23 am

That is a good question, though I would be willing to work with R&D on it.

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Re: [Practice Project] Andorian Imperial Guard

Post by Williams » Sun Feb 10, 2013 12:36 pm

Just a few small points reading through it;

"The Vulcans, believing that the terraforming project on Weytahn was to spy on the Vulcan people, the Vulcan High Command demanded that..."

Should probably be either:
"The Vulcans, believing that the terraforming project on Weytahn was to spy on the Vulcan people, demanded that..."
Or
"Believing that the terraforming project on Weytahn was to spy on the Vulcan people, the Vulcan High Command demanded that..."

- 'Jonathan Archer' is mis-spelt as 'Jonathon Archer', which creates a dead link to Mem-Alpha.

- The section about V'Las could probably do with stating that he was a Romulan agent within the Vulcan High Command, just to stop people thinking that he ordered a Romulan strike force to Andoria.

- RE: the change of name to the ADF: Perhaps we should change the title of the article to match this (the most current name), and have a redirect page to it from the AIG page?



I'm personally not overly keen on the role that you've given them in the Federation-Klingon War and the Dominion War... it seems to imply that the Andorians viewed themselves more as an ally of the Federation rather than an integral part of it. I'd have imagined that the ADF's role as solely restricted to Andoria, and with limited roles past that, with perhaps war assistance to the Federation being in terms of lending personnel and shipyards to Starfleet. That's just my opinion though, and aside from the few minor fixes above, the article itself is well-written.

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Re: [Practice Project] Andorian Imperial Guard

Post by FruitLoop » Sun Feb 10, 2013 9:50 pm

I meant for it to say that the ADF was asked by Starfleet to assist with the two wars. Now, in the Dominion War they did not go to the front lines but rather stayed close to Andoria and only helped with Betazed because Andoria was within striking distance. Still, they did not send many ships. The bulk of the ADF was kept close to Andoria. However, if I need to change it, I will.

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