OK, with the exception of a few images which I'll be adding hopefully by the end of the day, I think this is pretty much ready to be put forward for the community to discuss. Enjoy!
http://wiki.pegasusfleet.net/index.php? ... ence_Force
Klingon Defence Force
Moderator: Clement
- FruitLoop
- Lieutenant Commander
- Posts: 733
- Joined: Wed May 04, 2011 10:29 pm
- Location: Deep South, USA
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Re: Klingon Defence Force
You forgot some words in there due to lack of sleep. I do it all the time and you are gracious enough to point it out to me. lol
I believe "The opposing branch within the KDF the Internal Security Fleet (ISF), which operates only internally" is meant to be something like "The opposing branch within the KDF is the Internal Security Fleet (ISF), which operates only internally"
Also: "It is very uncommon for an officer of the Army – even one of the lowest rank – to command over a small group of warriors". I don't understand why it would be uncommon for an officer of the Army to command warriors. Are these warriors shipboard personnel? Or are they warriors in the Army?
That's all I found. Other than those two things, very detailed and thorough. I like it.
I believe "The opposing branch within the KDF the Internal Security Fleet (ISF), which operates only internally" is meant to be something like "The opposing branch within the KDF is the Internal Security Fleet (ISF), which operates only internally"
Also: "It is very uncommon for an officer of the Army – even one of the lowest rank – to command over a small group of warriors". I don't understand why it would be uncommon for an officer of the Army to command warriors. Are these warriors shipboard personnel? Or are they warriors in the Army?
That's all I found. Other than those two things, very detailed and thorough. I like it.
Klingon Defence Force
I'll fix the missing word when I'm back on my PC later. As for the other sentence, when taken in context with the ones before it, the intent is to mean that a Klingon officer will rarely command over a small group of warriors - meaning that it's usually a 'throw as many warriors at them and possible and see who's left after it' kind of affair, so they usually all command large groups of warriors, even when they have a low rank
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Re: Klingon Defence Force
Fixed the missing word and altered the sentence structure a little on the size of commands part to link it up better with the previous statement.
- FruitLoop
- Lieutenant Commander
- Posts: 733
- Joined: Wed May 04, 2011 10:29 pm
- Location: Deep South, USA
- Contact:
Re: Klingon Defence Force
Much better.