Geminite-Romulan War

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FruitLoop
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Geminite-Romulan War

Post by FruitLoop » Sat May 04, 2013 9:36 pm

http://wiki.pegasusfleet.net/index.php? ... omulan_War

This is a preliminary article on it, and I am unsure of how to expand upon it. Any pointers would be appreciated.

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Re: Geminite-Romulan War

Post by Seleia » Sat May 04, 2013 11:33 pm

Okay so I looked it over.. and here are some suggestions on how to make it a little longer and expand on things.

Instead of:
After the Shinzon Incident and the Hobus disaster, the Romulan Empire was in desperate need of resources to replenish what they had lost. They set their sights outwards of their borders, and saw a people with planets good for both farming and natural resources. The people were strong and plentiful, making for a good slave population in the future. The Romulans invaded, to find out that these people were not as weak as they thought.
I rewrote it to:
After the Shinzon Incident and the Hobus disaster, the Romulan Empire was in desperate need of resources. With worlds and trade routes destroyed, they had no choice but to look to neighboring civilizations. They found planets that were good for farming, food, and natural resources. There was one problem, it was inhabited by a race they knew little about. However, they knew enough about the people to know that they were strong and their population was large. To the Romulans, these people would be their new slaves. What the Bajorans were to the Cardassians. The Romulans invaded, but found more resistance than they expected.
Its about a line longer, but also gives you more of a image of what the romulans wanted to do with these people by linking it to how the Bajoran's got treated.

Other suggestions:

1. turn any number smaller than 100 into words. It looks better to say "eighteen years" rather than "18 years." At least it does to me.
2. How long did it take the scientist to figure out this weapon. Was it something they had used before and just now thinking to turn it into a massive weapon to protect themselves? Its unclear (at least to me).
3. Any special battles to mention? "The Battle of System 87" or whatever that could be talked about in detail? Special generals to mention (on either side?)
4. Peace talks?
5. How long did it take for the cloaks to be established on the new ships? You can't just learn about new technology and it work overnight. They had to have tested it? Maybe a side line about that?

I hope this helps some and you don't think I am stepping on any toes. This is just what I saw that could help you expand upon this.

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Re: Geminite-Romulan War

Post by FruitLoop » Sun May 05, 2013 1:33 am

no,, that was exactly what I needed to get the gears turning. thanks!

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Re: Geminite-Romulan War

Post by Williams » Sun May 05, 2013 5:55 pm

To be honest, I think that the timeline of events is a little bit sketchy. It reads a little like "the Romulans had their government destroyed by a coup and were in serious trouble economically, so they decided to throw their fleet at a random race to get their resources, but the random race took their cloaks and fought back".

Personally, I'd say that such a conflict would need to have started before Shinzon's coup. Regardless of how many resources they might see on the Geminite worlds and need, the Romluan military won't be able to launch many offensives against the Geminites, especially after the damage Hobus did (for the info of others reading this; Fleet Canon has Romulus damaged but not destroyed by Hobus; many other facilities and ships and such would be unusable or destroyed if they were within the radius of effects). It would be like the Klingons after Praxis blew up, being in such desperate need of help to maintain their strength and security to agree to peace with the Federation to then suddenly turn around and start sending non-existent fleets of warships at other races in their back yard. Just doesn't make sense to me.

Also, if it was changed to have started pre-Shinzon, then it would make sense in terms of the Romulans being confident of success (their general character is that they don't fight a battle until they know it is already won) but then struggling; the double-whammy of Shinzon and Hobus would cripple Romulan operations enough for the Geminites to have a bit of a surge back at them, and start to turn the tide towards their favour.

I'd also say that the timeline of struggling with backwards-engineering Romulan cloaking devices would take more than 'a few months' - likely years, even for a race with any previous experience of the technology. Only reason Starfleet could get it onto the Defiant so quickly was with Romulan technical assistance; just look at the Pegasus for what happens to our own efforts without that. This along with the above would also go with making this a bit more of a protracted conflict, perhaps only rising to the recent levels of danger to the Romulan Empire in recent years.

I also think that the attack on Romulus either needs a lot more buildup, or needs to be shifted to another Romulan world. For the Geminites to be able to attack the Romulan homeworld would be like the Romulans attacking Earth; either everybody's pants would need to be caught so far down they were on the other side of the planet, or it would be one of the most dire circumstances after a long war that the Romulans were badly loosing. Even with cloaks (which the Romulans would be familiar with and likely have their own methods of detection due to their own intimate knowledge with their own tech), a ship couldn't just waltz up to the most heavily defended planet in the Empire and launch an attack; not unless the Romulan fleet was decimated or spread so thinly they couldn't defend it.

Those are just my thoughts, anyway

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Re: Geminite-Romulan War

Post by FruitLoop » Tue May 07, 2013 11:52 pm

Updated to have started in 2378, after the Dominion War. The Romulans were surer of a victory, the Geminites took longer to fix the problems with the cloaks, and it was two worlds in the Hraven system. Is it alright now?

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