Health, Dietary, & Fitness Nurse
Posted: Thu Jan 16, 2014 5:50 am
Templeton "Dawii " Moranis
Have all your senior officers turned into Bridge Potatoes?
Why, of COURSE they have! The sit there on their butts for 8+ hours a day.
Kirk could go work out on duty because, well, he's the captain. But the rest of you? Tsk... tsk... tisk!
Have I got a solution for you.
Well, Richard Simmons was first choice, but he's busy on a starship in the 2280's.
So! Second one up to bat it Templeton Moranis! He is your rescuer!
The health nurse, or Dietary, Health, & Fitness nurse is essential to any starship.
Someone must see to it that your unique species & personal life support, dietary, and exercise needs are met!
- Eat a little too much chocolate? He'll have main computer override the replicators to dispense smaller (and fewer) servings.
- Bad cigar smoking habit? Ship's fire suppression system can be targeted into precision jets.
- Wolfing down too much beef? A little seasoning which numbs your sense of taste & smell should help.
- Having trouble making it to 5:30 calisthenics? Not to worry! He'll make sure you're up for some exciting Tae Bo.
- Been stashing snacks in your quarters? He has little Farscape-style drones to hunt them out.
- Do you prefer all natural, holistic health? You are in such luck! He has teenie worms to help clear that digestive backlog.
'Diet nag', 'Diet Nazi',... call him what you want. He truly understands and will forgive you.
It's for your own good, and he has the blessing of medical authority to... to... "help" you.
You'll thank him for it... all of you. (This does include the CO, by the way.)
Aren't you excited? I know I am!
Oh, btw, Dawii stands for 'Don't Ask What's In It".